The London Review of Books is Britain's most esteemed literary magazine. Published fortnightly, it features essays, reviews and the most outrageous personal ads ever set in type. The following is a selection from the latest issue.
*The size of one of my hands alarms me. If you are a hand doctor, female, under 35 and sexually adventurous, please write.
box no: 11/02
*Boyfriend or similar urgently sought for house party in south-west France in early July. Auditions starting in London immediately. Tall, blonde, F, 36 with almond eyes and other cat-like tendencies.
Email: almondeyes@hotmail.co.uk
*I'm at least 90% certain that we're going to hook up. Under-grad statistician, 62.
box no: 11/07
*I was recently victorious in a small claims court and with my compensation cheque I'd like to take you (F to 48) on a weekend bicycling trip to the lake District Centre Parc. This offer doesn't include meals or alcoholic beverages. M, 53.
box no: 11/01
*You're not just any woman, you're my reincarnated dead wife. Sylvia (or equally voluptuous Fs to 55), please write, I miss you, honey (or whoever you are).
box no: 11/03
box no: 11/03
*Bookish girl wanted. Audio poem.
web: www.hellobookishboy.blogspot.com
web: www.hellobookishboy.blogspot.com
*Replying to these ads may seem difficult. So I'm making this easier by sporting very casual clothing - denims, a jersey, no tie - while writing this. I also plan on revealing my first name so that you don't necessarily have to call me Dr Clowder. Dr Clowder, 58, Louth.
box no: 11/04
box no: 11/04
*I make love using sonar pings. It's flank speed ahead with HMS Impregnator.
box no: 11/08
box no: 11/08
*I tested well with the 38-50 demographic. The same demographic also enjoys healthy cereal breakfasts and is open to product offers from financial institutes. If you're 38-50, like museli, and would consider a savings account that gives you a 6.1% return on balances over £5000, write now to Eddy 'Babycanon' Mulligan.
box no: 11/05
box no: 11/05
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